


The Officer

by Milk_Of_Arsinoe_The_Awesome



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Dark Romano, GerIta if you squint, M/M, Prucan if you squint, Spamano if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 17:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9669248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milk_Of_Arsinoe_The_Awesome/pseuds/Milk_Of_Arsinoe_The_Awesome
Summary: Lovino Vargas was a criminal. Too bad police officer Antonio Fernandez Carriedo didn't know that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Old Story on Ffnet that I'm reposting here!

Lovino Vargas was terrified when the sirens came out of nowhere. He looked at his speedometer. 80? He knew he was speeding, but he didn't realize that he was going that fast. He glanced behind him worriedly while he reluctantly pulled over. He hoped that the officer wouldn't notice the smell in the car.

He heard the knocks on the window. He sighed and rolled it down. He needed to get out of Spain and into Portugal, where his ticket to Canada was waiting, but he didn't want the police chase, so he rolled the window down, revealing a handsome dark-haired man with bright green eyes and a smile.

"Señor, do you know how fast you were going?"

Lovino glared. "Nope. None whatsoever. I don't have time for this shit." Fuck being nice to the police.

The officer didn't seem to care. "The speed limit is 20 and you were going 80..."Lovino was confused. Why didn't he just arrest him then and there for going 60 kph over the speed limit? Save him some time with giving him a ticket. Only people guilty of more than just careless driving drove like this… not that he was. He glanced behind him in worry. Did this bastard know?

He snapped, "Well, maybe if the signs weren't in Spanish, maybe I could read them…" This was bullshit, and Lovino knew it. He had been learning Spanish since elementary school and majored in it in college, not to mention that his first language, Italian, was so close to it. In fact, he was more fluent in Spanish than some native speakers, dammit!

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Lovino was worried that he was onto him, but he shrugged it off. He had been almost 100 kilometers over the speed limit…

Lovino stuttered. "Uh... you see... my fratello got into an accident and... well, you don't really need to know." Fuck. For a new criminal he wasn't good at making things up… though it wasn't really a lie. His brother had gotten had hurt… and technically this cop didn't need to know the details.

The officer hesitated…"Well... I'm going to have to give you a ticket either way. I'm sorry to hear about your brother."

Lovino couldn't help himself. " Whatever, the bastard deserved it." He slightly paled, but then realized that he had said it so quiet the other man couldn't possibly hear him. "Yeah, yeah. I figured."

"Oh, before anything, license and registration?" Well, duh you idiota? How else are you going to know who I am to give me a ticket that I won't pay anyway? Lovino reached into his glove compartment and gave him the stuff anyway, a little worried of what was on his record. Was his college major on there? Would this guy learn that he actually could speak Spanish?

Once the guy had left and wondered back to the cop car, Lovino couldn't help himself. He turned around and yelled at the idiot in his trunk, "I know you probably can't hear me, Feliciano, but if you get me caught, I'm killing you again!"

His brother didn't answer. Of course he didn't. He was as dead as a doornail. Lovino had killed him.

Their parents had handed custody of Lovino and Feliciano to the Edelstein's when Lovino was 7 and Feliciano was 5, and while they seemed to like Feliciano—though for some reason they thought he was a girl until he hit puberty—they hated Lovino, and it remained this way throughout his adulthood, even now at 22, Feliciano was still more loved than 24-year-old Lovino. And so he had snapped, murdered his only fratello in cold blood, but Feliciano deserved it.

The officer came back with the ticket and Lovino's belongings. "All done, I meant to ask you before but, you have something in here? It smells weird..." Oh, shit…

Lovino had to think of something fast. "It's nothing. A raccoon crawled into my car a week ago and died. I was going to see if someone could get rid of the smell, but I never got around to it." It sounded lame. He added a sigh to make it more believable.

"A raccoon? I'm not sure raccoons smell like that... How'd it die?" Lovino had to give the officer some credit. Even this idiot wasn't convinced by the raccoon stuff, just like no one was convinced by Lovino's "the squirrel wet my bed, not me" as a child. Damn… he sure did blame his issues on wildlife animals too much. He should never become a Disney Princess. He wouldn't fare very well.

" Starvation? Dehydration? Who the fuck cares! All I know is I walked outside and there was a dead raccoon in my fucking car!"

A normal cop would have arrested him right then, or at least put him in his place for cursing at him, but this guy apparently finished last in his cop class so he just raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "Are you sure? Wouldn't the smell be gone by now? Señor, you have any weapons or drugs on you right now?"

Lovino looked at him with feigned disbelief. "No... Why would I have weapons? I thought you pulled me over for speeding?" As an afterthought he added. "I'm not on drugs either. That's gross."

It wasn't a lie. Lovino had never done drugs and he didn't carry weapons on his person or in his car—it was a rental anyway. He had killed Feliciano in their hotel in Barcelona via a slow, agonizing, and painful death using a lethal drug that he had obtained through a source that was way too eager to help.

The cop was still skeptical. "So... You got nothing at all?"

"No weapons. No drugs. That's disgusting. Besides, officer, even if I had those things, I wouldn't be stupid enough to have them in the car. I'm sure you saw this on my file or whatever, but this is my third speeding ticket in the past two years." Also true, but the other times were accidents. Lovino had meant to speed this time. With all things considered, it was a miracle the officer didn't suspend his license.

"Alright, alright. You really should get rid of that horrible smell. You said something about your brother? Maybe I can give you an escort to the hospital to visit him?"

The only thing that Lovino could think was: oh shit, he knows. It was a stupid excuse anyway. Lovino and Feliciano had been vacationing in Spain together. Why would Lovino be by himself in Spain under the guise of trying to get to the hospital? It sounded like a lame excuse even now.

Still, Lovino tried to dissuade him. "I don't even know which hospital he's at. I was supposed to pick up my brother's boyfriend's brother and he was supposed to tell me where to go."

It wasn't a lie—on top of being his drug source, Gilbert was waiting in Portugal with Lovino's ticket to freedom, where Matthew—a college-aged son of a Canadian politician who was so corrupt that he would do anything for enough cash—was waiting with his father to smuggle him into the country.

All three knew what it was like to be overshadowed by a more lovable brother. Matthew had Alfred, Gilbert had that potato bastard Ludwig, and Lovino was stuck with the potato's idiot boyfriend.

He was grateful for the duo, though if he had to listen to Gilbert's "I'm awesome!" rant one more time he might kill him too.

He glanced back up to the officer who responded with,"alright, I guess that'd be all. Stay beautiful." And with a wink and a chuckle, he walked back to his police car, leaving a suddenly blushing Lovino Vargas alone with a decomposing body.

Lovino let out a sigh of relief. He didn't think that dumb half-lie would work. As he started up the car, he swore that this time he would try to stay within the speed limit despite his rush to get out of the continent.

Before driving off, he watched the cop car as it drove away. He looked at his trunk. "He was cute... but kind of an idiota... Isn't that right, fratellino?"

Feliciano didn't answer. Lovino laughed and drove away.


End file.
